Moments of Need
by CallMeAWota
Summary: A series of fiction where our favorite characters are involved with a fire that has destroyed their once happy lives... DISCONTINUED.
1. Wanting Death

Moments of Need

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Summary: "I want to die..." Rima said. "But no one will kill me." Nagi looked at her. He didn't want to see her like this. It reminded him too much of himself.

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Atsuko: This was just made, and I mean... _just made_. Inspired by Mizuki's and my chat. We are a bit depressed right now. Because she started was wants of suicide, and I followed in suit, and everything is now depressing. So but anyways, enjoy _Moments of Need_.

You expect me to disclaim when I'm depressed? Screw you. You already know it. It's already ended, what's the use of owning it other than making more of it more my useless needs?

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"I want to die..." Rima said. "But no one will kill me."

Nagi looked at her. He didn't want to see her like this. Hell, he didn't want to see _anyone_ like this. It reminded him too much of himself. "Same. I've always had a need for death."

Rima's tears cascaded down towards the ground. She didn't want her little facade made up of so many things she wanted to protect to fall down in a second. "Damn it. No.. I-... I'm crying.." Rima squeaked silently. She didn't know why. She did, though, she didn't want to admit it. She found out someone so different from her, feel so much the same.

Nagi wanted to step up and hug her. But he only knew it would cause more tears to fall. He could only stay next to her, support her to stop believe what she wanted to believe. He had to keep up with himself, not fall behind. He didn't want to fall behind like his most youngest twin sister did, who hadn't managed to escape from a fire back in their pre-school days. Tears edged towards the corners of his eye. _No_. He thought. He couldn't cry now. He managed to pull the watery sustance back. _Dear god..._ Whenever he saw someone cry, with evidence that they could, or heard anything heartbreaking, he always felt the need to _cry_. Tears once again threatened to fall. _No, don't fall. I don't want her to see me like this_.

Once again, his tears went inside. _"As much as it hurts, I have to stay silent. As much as it helps me, I can't cry. As much as they say it's okay, it makes me give up all I've been trying to hold in. For all of us who wants death, our time will come."_ He always told himself that. Because it was his fault that his sister probably died, he ran as fast as he could, without noticing his sister was left behind calling his name.

He pat her back as she continued to cry as silently as she could. She slumped down onto her knees and layed on her back, uncaring if her shirt got dirty because of the dirt on the carpet. He followed, slowly as he can, slumped his knees and stared at her. He crawled to get a blanket, he stood up and spead the blanket open and threw it over her. The blanket slowly floated atop her and softly landed on her. He slumped on his knees again, laying the same way she was, next to her. He stared at the ceiling. "So peaceful..." he whispered.

"I-... It's so irritating..." Rima said under the blanket, gripping it as tightly as she could. In between sniffs, he could feel she was still crying. He knew he should say silent.

She wanted to bang her head against the wall. _Not like this... I don't want him to see me like this_... It was... _irritating_. She managed to keep up such a persona, and until now, her own mind and body gave up on her to spill her tears in front of her... _enemy?_

It just wasn't right.

"You can tell me what's wrong."

And at that moment, she, herself, gave up. **Those were the exact words she wanted to hear.**

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Mizuki: Thanks for reading. Come on Atsuko... let's go before our depressing thoughts affect these people.


	2. This Chapter's Currently Being Rewritten

Moments of Need

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Summary: "Oh hou. Little Strawberry's loitering by the tree, eh?"-"What do you want, Tsukiyomi?"-"Nothing. You've been bothering me for quite a while now."-"How, you dumbass?"- "I don't know, how you look?"-"Are you calling me ugly?"

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Atsuko: Lighter than last time, so yaaay. It's Amuto, I guess..? I just might make this into...

A) a small series circled around the 9 characters, it would be 10 if Nadeshiko was still there. Or...

B) Into a real fanfiction. Of which its summary would be something like..:

Circled around nine people, they try to find out the truths about the fire that all poisoned their lives. All nine have suffered the death of a sibling, and all felt the need to let go and find the truth.

So whoever wants me to do that, say so now. One PM or review or in however way is enough to keep me going (Not including you Mizuki -.-). If it's not said, I'll just go along with A.

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She longed to tell everyone how she felt. She longed to know what was hidden from her. It was always she that was in the spotlight, even if she did not wish to be. They always weighed her down to being who she didn't want to be. It was stressful.

She sat there lifelessly. _Being the only sibling sucks._ Amu thought. Her former siblings had died at a young age in the same fire as Nadeshiko did. Amu knew, Nadeshiko would be pretty if she lived up to this point, like Nagi looked handsome. The three were one of the best of friends, almost inseperable, even at the age of three and until the fire. She sighed. Where was Nagi when she wanted some comforting? She knew it was selfish, but she couldn't help it, seeing the weak person she is inside.

Well, he was probably with Rima, the 'new edition' to the part-country, part-city, trying to befriend her while helping her cope with her sister's just recent death in this year's fire. (I'm not including where they live, because I simply don't _know_ where they live, nor is it the place I am describing where they live in the manga/anime)

It sucked in her house, slow connection, a tv that was barely just working, hundreds of books she's already read, barely anything to do. She stood up, well, she guessed she could walk around, or hang around one of the movies/arcades. But, it was Sunday, one of the stupidest days to close an arcade. She walked out of her house anyways, noting her parents that she was going out, bringing cash just in case.

The sun blinded her eyes as she walked out of her purposely dark house with shades. She blocked the sun with her hands hovering above her eyes. She walked on into the mid-hot sun. She found herself in front of the ice cream shop. Sighing, she debated in her mind, whether to waste two of her twenty dollars in her wallet. She was all for saving, but still, it _was_ pretty hot. She sat on a bench in the shade of a tree.

"Oh hou. Little Strawberry's loitering by the tree, eh?" Someone said. Amu frowned immensely. Man, this person was _so_ annoying!

"What do you want, Tsukiyomi?" Amu asked in more of a statement.

"Nothing." He extended his hand quickly towards her spoon and ate a spoonful of her ice cream and she slapped his hand. "You've been bothering me for quite a while now."

"How, you dumbass?"

"I don't know, how you look?"

"Are you calling me ugly?" Amu glared.

"Maybe, but what I'm saying is how you look on the inside, with sorrow." He replied, grabbing her cup of ice cream.

"Hey, I didn't buy that for you, ya know." Swiping back her double side spoon and ice cream. "So what do you mean sorrow?"

"Nah, now I won't say it because I can't have ice cream." Ikuto said childishly. She stared at him to wonder what age he was. Shaking her head, she walked off. "Whatever, I don't need to know."

"Aaah. There it goes again." Ikuto pointed at her, blankly. "The little sadness in your eyes, being almost invisible."

She scoffed and walked away. _Tsukiyomi is so damn annoying_. By now, she's wished she didn't bring up her idiotic facade out, like all other times, who only Nagi knew who she was. Goddamn. She didn't care who she told it too. She didn't care if she received pity. She just wanted to get her emotions out there to someone other than... _Nagi_, though there was nothing wrong with him.

"Ichigo-chan, you can't trick me~." She frowned again as he wrapped his arms around her neck with his head on her's, trying to stop from smiling. Yes, he still cared. If he was determined enough, maybe she'd really tell him.

"Whatever."

* * *

Mizuki: We wish you all a Happy Halloween! Atsuko has whiskers~.

Atsuko: Shadup, sailor suit girl.

Mizuki: What'd you say? I'm dressed as a middle school girl.

Atsuko: Even when you look like an elementary school gi-

Mizuki: *slap* Say another word and I'll slap you again.

Atsuko: *caressing cheek* ELEMENTARY. SCHOOL. GIRL!

Mizuki: *angry, slaps*

Atsuko: *grabs wrists*

Mizuki: Grrr.


	3. Degraded

Moments of Need

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Summary: "They're the best idols for you, not stupid little picture books and cartoons!" Yaya's view? "They're my ideal children! Why can't you be like them! You act so childish for your age, Grow up!"-"Now I really know you don't want me."-"What was that?"- "I wish I died in that fire."

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Atsuko: Third one! Almost all of these have to do with definitely my or someone else's, or everone's life similar, but different ending.

Mizuki: The first one was based on our life. The second was based on Amu..? And the third is based on... who?

Atsuko: My life, and anyone's life that's almost equivalent to this chapter.

Mizuki: About?

Atsuko: GODDAMN, I'M EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW SO FIND OUT AFTER YOU'RE DONE READING IT.

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Yaya sat cuddled into a corner, face faced towards the wall. She felt tears jerk. It was always about her step-sister. "Utau this." "Utau that." It annoyed her to no end. Utau, three years older than her, always kept up her grade, always kept a good face for their parents, always made advance marks, despite the lack of studying, always played perfect on the piano and guitar.

"You should be like Utau, she does everything you can and can't do." Her birthmother said. "You should grow up like her. She should be your idol."

Yaya knew that, she knew it before she said it, she knew it after she said it, would it change if she never said it? No. But it always translated to: "I wish Utau was my only child, even if she is my step-daughter."

She knew one thing, if she didn't survive the fire, her twin sister would've. Her twin sister cried about her sister may not be with her if she lived, she was afraid to be alone if Yaya died, she sacrificed herself. Yaya knew if she was the one that died, Pepe would have been more successful, and followed everything their parents said.

And... she wouldn't have lost her father... right? Age seven, the age she lost Pepe, she also lost her father whom she called Papa. It was about how they shouldn't have let the twins have a room of their own, otherwise they would've known if the two were kidnapped and almost burned.

And then it all led to the remarriage of her mama, Mimi, with a man which she remembered, his name was Aruto... or something. Aruto was a parent himself, who kept both his children, Utau, and her-step brother Ikuto, four ages older than her, who was just the same with minor differences with Utau. For one, perfecting all orchestral instruments, much earlier than Aruto did, then considering it as his potential.

Whereas, Yaya wasn't good at piano, she sucked at violin, and she didn't even know how to play the guitar. She never kept up her grades, resulting to a weird wave of As and Bs on the grades chart her mother kept for her. She couldn't even grow up or at least know how to be serious when she needed too. She couldn't keep a good face for her mother, and step-father, and was always rude to people who she didn't know.

"Yaya, get out of that dusty corner and study for your history test tomorrow!" her mother lectured again. Yaya stayed and rolled her eyes in annoyance, but at the same time crying and wondering at all if she understood her. "Yaya, do you hear me? If you're reading something over there, your eyes are going to go blind!" Oh, why would she _read_ a book, in the _dark_. Why would she read at all? What _could_ she read in the little dark corner she was in?

"Yay-"

"I know, okay?" Yaya yelled.

"You're getting so stupid these days! You're becoming so rude! Be like your sister, or at least your brother!" Brother? _Sister?_ Did she forget the step- part? Had she already accepted them in the past few months? For five years, she had tried to get her mother to accept her, but she'd already accepted her step-siblings in just two months.

"Be more like them!" There it goes again. "If you'd study or stopped reading those pointless picture books of your's, then you'd get more As, or at most A+s!" Yaya already knew this. But mangas were _not_ pointless. Like in fourth grade, before realizing a cute boy in her grade was her first crush, she knew first crushes or loves were forever. That's what manga, and her view of her parents said.

"They're the best idols for you, not stupid little picture books and cartoons!" Yaya's view? "They're my ideal children! Why can't you be like them! You act so childish for your age, Grow up!"

Yaya dug her face into her knees. "Now I really know you don't want me."

"What was that?"

"I wish I died in that fire."

"What?" Her mother yammered, sounding as though she said what Yaya had said.

"I-it's n-no-!" A cry had interrupted them. Her little brother, he was given birth four months after her mother and father divorced. Great, more stress.

"You woke up Tsubasa!"

Yaya was enraged, with tears pouring like a waterfall, soaking her outfit. It wasn't _her_ that woke Tsubasa, it was them both. "Damnit Pepe, if only you were here." Finally deciding it was enough for self-pity, she dragged herself towards the computer, where she did _all_ her studying, and _all_ her homework. She turned on the screen, and in a flash everything turned on.

She IMed her friend, Amu, who she realized Ikuto liked to tease. 'Hi Amu.

'Siblings troubles again?'

'Yeah.'

'Seriously, don't degrade yourself, we all miss her, even if you and she weren't really in Na's, and my group.'

An IM window popped up. 'KSanjouSK would like to talk to you. Accept? Report?' She knew him, he was one of the kids suffering the same thing as everyone here, death of a loved one, his older brother who he idolized. 'Yaya, what's wrong? :\ '

'It's nothing Riri. o-o '

'Please don't start with the nicknames Yaya. You know, degrading yourself will depress you. ): '

Strange, a few of those words resembled what Amu had said. 'I'm already depressed. )': '

'Should I go and save this little princess from the depression's grasp? (; '

'I see you're still your samurai mode. (: '

'Or am I? (; '

Yaya smiled. He always knew how to make her smile, despite him being one of the 'nerds'. 'Or are you? (: '

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Atsuko: Not much of anything, but yeah. I've chosen to do Utau next, though I haven't started yet because this was made _yesterday_. Shall I repeat? _Yesterday_.

Mizuki: :\ ...

Atsuko: *hugs you*

Mizuki: ... *pushes off*

Atsuko: I'm depressed and you won't even let me hug you?

Mizuki: You don't seem depressed anymore.

Atsuko: It doesn't need to stand out to be noticed.

Mizuki: ... R&R.

Atsuko: ... *wears a hat that blocks eyes and hides in closet*

Mizuki: Damn.


	4. Facades

Moments of Need

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Summary: Yaya: It's like she's telling me she doesn't want me!-'Utau didn't _want_ to be the perfect child Yaya's mother wanted, she wanted to be herself, just like Amu had wanted to. She wanted to jump out of the house yelling happily.'

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It looks like it'll be about weekly updated. But! I haven't chosen who to write about yet. o-o **Amu, Rima, Nagi, Yaya, and Utau.** Ikuto, Kukai, and Kairi. Oh my god three more chapters left! **Rima and Nagi **were expressed in **chapter one **and a tiny part of chapter two was **Rima**, but mostly held **Amu**. **Yaya** in **chapter three**, and **Utau** in **chapter four, this chapter**. I think I'll do... Ikuto next, then Kairi, then Kukai. I'm not lining them up in favorites mind you. Of course I love Kukai too! 3333

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Atsuko: Like I said, Utau's chapter.

Mizuki: Ban. Zai.

Atsuko: ...Oh thanks for the sarcasm. -.- Well, the last chapter was dedicated to people with similar situations, and most likely asian children. My situation was between me and _my_ mom, who she instead of bragging about me (claiming there _is_ nothing to brag about) or whatever, she brags about my twin over there.

Mizuki: She doesn't know the real me!

Atsuko: Yeah, well this is the other side of Yaya's story, Utau's story. Have good reads.

Mizuki: And I hope you do know we don't own Shugo Chara or any published animes, mangas or anything. Fanfictions are for fans. If we were the original or bought it, we wouldn't be working on **fan**fictions anymore.

Atsuko: You already don't work on it and you're a f-

Mizuki: Shut it.

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Utau was in Tsubasa's room, comforting him to sleep again (even if he was about five now, he was much like his older sister and refused to be treated like an older child). She did it in place for his mother, her _step-_mother.

Of course, she didn't forget the step-, Yuiki Nodoka may be Tsukiyomi Nodoka now, but she wasn't her birthmother. She refused to accept that she was her mother now, but never completely showed it. When Tsubasa showed signs of nodding off, she sang him a soft lullaby her mother used to sing her to sleep, before her mother sacrificed herself to save both Ikuto and Utau, but unable to save their younger siblings Yoru, Eru, and Iru, the three, triplets, in the fire many years ago. But it felt that her mother had imprinted the song into her mind before she died in the fire, enabling Utau to remember the song. His eyes seemed like they would be permenantly closed for the day and she softly put him on his bed.

How heavy the child was.

She walked off, towards to the other side of the house, where Yaya's room was. Yaya seemed asleep on her computer, dried tears leaving traces on her cheeks and a small smile printed on her face. She caught a few things her eyes could see on Yaya's computer screen. "Utau's always the best." Catching her interest, she creeped into Yaya's room and scrolled up and down her chat with a 'KSanjouSK', being careful not to wake her up.

'It's only because you don't put effort Yaya.'

'But, Kairi, Mama always brags about her! She never tells me of my accomplishments like when I won an award for best student of the month (how I beat you I'll never know)! She always tells me "Utau's better at piano than you." "Ikuto's has better grades." "I'm going to raise Tsubasa like them." It's like she's telling me she doesn't want me!'

'But I do. (: '

'Hahaha. o~o '

'No I'm serious. ): '

'What a joke. -.- '

Utau had already caught signs that Kairi liked Yaya. Even though smiling at this point at the little argument the two had, she had little anger in her eyes. She didn't _want_ to be the perfect child Yaya's mother wanted, she wanted to be herself, just like Amu had wanted to. She wanted to jump out of the house yelling happily, maybe even with Yaya. She'd always assumed Yaya was the happy kind, happy-go-lucky, never got upset. Maybe she was wrong, by the looks at this, she was crying, she _was_ upset, and the cried tears on her face told her she was _not_ happy.

'Hey, would Pepe be happy if you were sad right now? ): '

Pepe? Who was this 'Pepe' person? 'No... sis wouldn't be happy. TT^TT ' _Sis?_ She had a sister?

'Are you crying again? D: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. )': '

'I was upset before you said that.'

Utau felt like she should've pitied the girl, her step-sister. Finally taking enough of reading her things, being nosy and all, she tip-toed out the door, closing it softly. Utau, debating whether to have a sisterly talk later or not, walked onto her room, the room two doors down. She logged on the computer and caught Kukai, GottaPlaySoccer, on, Yaya's family-like friend, and IMed him. 'Hi Kukai.'

'Sup Utau.'

'So you know Yaya, yeah?'

'O' course I do.'

'So you're aware that she thinks I'm the best?'

'Yeah, pretty much.'

'I can't believe she does. There's Ikuto too anyways. It's not like I'm doing it for her mom. I'm doing it for my father. The Tsukiyomi's are a family of high-leveledness anyways. She's a Tsukiyomi now, she should know it. She doesn't even know the real me.'

'Ooh, like Hinamori.'

'Yeah, like her. We keep the same facade sometimes you know?'

'But she has a reason, she's hiding her weaknesses and sorrow behind her mask you know? Her parents think she "Cool and Spicy" too. She doesn't like to disappoint, nor does she like being belittled.'

'You think I don't? You guys don't know me! I want to jump out and be free to be silly and act stupid and feel independent, like Yaya, too.'

'So why doncha?'

'Because... it... degrades the family!'

'No it doesn't. You can always be a bad little girl, you understand. (; '

'...sicko.'

'ROFL.'

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Atsuko: LOL. THERE WAS NOTHING GOING THERE! I had nothing to write there. What I thought of for this chapter was completely different from what I imagined. I imagined Utau to be angry, and I thought of way more reasons to be angry than just... "I didn't want to be her ideal child." or whatever. It was short, yeah?

Mizuki: Yeah...

Atsuko: You know, this points out your point of view you know, I just don't know enough to have a better view of it. I'd edit this to a longer one if I did.

Mizuki: Okay okay, well, _Ellen_, we should get going now.

Atsuko: Okay, _Shiverteen_, let's go. Oh, if you guys want a part of the story where they have a sisterly talk, I could arrange it. But then it will most likely be short.


	5. Tears

Moments of Need

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Summary: "It's started. Come on, they have about 10 minutes. They've set the place on fire"-"Kairi are you crying again? Stop crying, it's annoying. Why are you crying anyways?"-"Go away."-"Oh dear, I think he's mental."

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I don't remember if I said their age. Amu, Nagi, Rima, and co. are in sophomore year (age 15). Kairi and Yaya are in Freshman year (age 14). Kukai and Utau in Junior year (age 16), and Ikuto in Senior year (age 17).

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Mizuki: So much stress..

Atsuko: It's okay sis.

Mizuki: My mom doesn't understand me at all!

Atsuko: Calm down.

Mizuki: Why? I'm so stressed right now! My mom thinks I'm mental and is going to take me to a doctor to find out! I'm mentally unstable because of all this stress. My dad's not even here to soothe me because he's in Viet Nam!

Atsuko: It's okay.. parents are fucked. *hugs* It's okay. She's just dense. It depresses me just to listen or find out your crying, I'm sensitive this way Mizuki. It depresses me to write about your situation because I understand in such little terms. It's okay, ya hear?

Mizuki: I don't wanna do anything.

Atsuko: ...*sigh* I don't own Shugo Chara. This is.. going to be a Kairi one (not an Ikuto or Kukai like I promised). It's unfortunate I used all the girls already, because ****** does not fit Kairi. Ahh, you'll know what ****** is by the end of this chapter.

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Kairi held it in. He blocked most of his emotions through studying and chatting with Yaya and others. But when he couldn't do anything, memories flooded into his mind. Very distant memories, very painful memories, memories of him and his older brother who was in third grade by the time Kairi was in kindergarden. Sanjou Musashi, was his brother. Every once a year he remember his brother coming home hurt, dirty, and partically burnt. It looked like it hurt. Kairi only then understood why when the first day of December came.

December first, two thousand-one, he and his brother was taken to a scary looking shed, black and grey, yet brown and blue. He couldn't tell _who_ took him, bu they we certainly not his parents. He and his brother were thrown inside with people he recognized, Yaya and Pepe, Nagihiko and Nadeshiko, Amu and her siblings, so many kids were here and just barely any adults, at least three or four (after all he only knew how to count to four). Everyone but Nagihiko, Nadeshiko, Amu, and his brother, were crying. "They're doing it again," Musashi whispered.

"Nii-chan, why are we here?" Kairi had asked. "It looks black and scary."

"It's okay Kairi, just stay close to me. I'll get all of us out of here," it was big talk for a third grader, everyone knew that, but they also realized that it sounded like he'd been through whatever they were going to go through soon. Smoke arose from outside, they could smell it. "It's started."

They heard crashes and booms somewhere within the building. "Come on, they have about 10 minutes. They've set the place on fire."

Some adults were horrified because they didn't know _why_ these people set the building on fire, whereas a fair portion of the adults weren't alerted at all, they knew this place up and down, left to right. "I don't know why they set a building on fire with children and adults in it, but I know that people die every year because of it, let's go."

Everyone followed him without hesitation after hearing "die," they did not want to die. Kairi, for losing his consciousness for a moment because of the comforting yet scary darkness that almost craddled him to sleep, was last out.

Pieces that were on fire on the ceiling started falling in burning hot standards, every started panicking. "On the ground!"

Only Kairi and Yaya never heard that, they continued standing and walking, no one noticing at all. They started coughing, and were unable to see where they were going, tears started to form because of the smoke that ran through and dried their eyes. "Nii-chan?", "Onee-chan?" "Where are you?"

By now only Musashi and Pepe could hear them, sensing their siblings missing. "Where's Kairi and Yaya?" Musashi abruptly stood up, just barely seeing anyone.

"Eh? Yaya-chan is gone!" Pepe panicked and stood up out of instinct. "Kairi!", "Yaya!"

"Nii-chan!", "Onee-chan!" Musashi heard a few yards away. But both he and Pepe saw something red orange hovering both kids.

"Kairi!", "Yaya!"

"Go, I'm not sure, but the exit should be up ahead, stand and run, just becareful," Musashi said to the others. He knew those words weren't clever but he was too panicked about his brother right now. He and Pepe tackled for Kairi and Yaya as they saw the burning wood falling.

The heavy wood fell on both of the older siblings. Musashi barely had any strength to say anything. The pain resided in Musashi's chest for beathing in more smoke by panting in panic and his elbows hurt for scraping on the wood floors which he could tell were splintered. "Follow them."

"Onee-chan?" Yaya said. "Onee-chan, are you going to be okay?"

"Yaya-chan, I'm Pepe-chan, your twin. What do you think? Do as Musashi-onii-chan says."

With no other word said, the two kids ran out, following the large group ahead of them. Musashi lay there beside Pepe. He smiled. At least he saved twice as many lives as he did last year, hopefully no one else died.

* * *

Yes, Kairi remembered that day with Yaya. Their siblings never came out, and they had witnessed so many other kids dying in the fire, like Nadeshiko, and all of Amu's siblings, and a teen. In that fire, it was horrible. If his older sister was there, in that fire with them, she would've helps them, but she was off in a university training to be a business woman.

Now he covered all the tracks of brotherly sorrow. Only by himself, did he let himself cry about him, though his mother witnessed it, she always thought something completely irrelavent.

Kairi was in bed, crying again. He was fourteen damnit! He shouldn't be crying anymore! He should've been over this nine years ago. He saw his mother pass by and stop. "Kairi are you crying again? Stop crying, it's annoying. Why are you crying anyways?"

He's heard parents understand you because they've gone through a process as a child once, but it seemed like his _mother_ never understood. How could they tell a child a lie like that? An adult understanding us? Did they struggle living through life knowing that their sibling died in a fire? Did they struggle to live knowing they sacrificed themselves? He didn't think so. Everything came with different outcomes, being a childhood or a special event, everyone had a different outcome to it.

How could his mother not understand? He was crying over his brother. It wasn't the exact date of the fire nine years ago, but it was a week after. The special event a week after the fire was his brother's birthday. Instead of celebrating it, they gave him a funeral. His mother didn't understand that her own son was crying about a child who was also her son?

"Go away." Kairi kept crying, hiccuping the words.

This was the fifth time his mother caught him crying "for no reason." Five was a lucky number for his mother. "Oh dear, I think he's mental."

_Mental?_ Did his mother just say _mental?_ "Maybe I should call Yukari home about this." _No!_ He wasn't _mental! _"I should take him to the doctors'."

Oh my god, now his mother was preparing his life for hell. "I'm going to call Yukari," his mother started towards the phone downstairs.

Was that woman crazy? Kairi wasn't mental! In fact, she should be the one that is mental. Crazy old doot thinks _he's_ mental for crying for his brother?

No, he just wanted his father to come home from his business trip. He knew what this would be about. Kairi _knew_ he would know. His father knew how to help him in this, is father felt what Kairi still felt, he'd understand.

For sure he wasn't going to get himself admitted into a mental hospital, even if his life depended on it. It would have been better just to die of oxygen poisoning, he decided. At best, he'd rather be with Yaya if he died.

For sure.. he will _never_ step a foot into a mental hospital. He knew he wasn't mental. He knew it.

* * *

Atsuko: I'm done. All done in December 14th, 2010. And thus, I will dedicate this to... well about five to seven people. Bri, Funga, Kev, Nan., Aiko, and Danster and to a Gabriel Reyna (whoever he is), because it's their birthday this month! And for Mizuki, who's life is currently very miserable because of her mother's denseness, and school work, plus this is her life event.

Mizuki: *sigh*

Atsuko: ..=.= God this atmosphere is depressing.


	6. Expectatons

Moments of Need

* * *

Summary: "Mom, I'm not five!"-"What kind of parent are you? When I was seven, you weren't even there when I was in that fire or even know until I was out of the hospital!"-"Hurry to the hospital!"-"He's breathed in too much smoke. He stopped. I'm sorry."

* * *

Atsuko: Yo. As you can see, it's Kukai's turn. It takes as my part of the story. As you can see, or not, every one of these chapters has to do with an event on our life or another, with a lot of twists and differences to it.

Rima & Nagi - Mizuki and mine  
Amu - (partially) mine  
Yaya - Mine  
Utau - Mizuki  
Kairi - Mizuki  
Kukai - Mine  
Ikuto - ? (We're waited for the next ultimate moment, that fits Ikuto or we have to make it up)

Mizuki: Could I tell them what it's about?

Atsuko: No. Hey has anyone noticed this little series is going in order? I just noticed at the beginning of writing this chapter.

Rima & Nagi - Very morning (days after latest fire)  
Amu - Very afternoon (same day as Rima and Nagi)  
Yaya - The following week (a few days later, afternoon)  
Utau - Moments after Yaya's  
Kairi - The following week (few days after Yaya's and Utau's)  
Kukai - The following day (night)

I struggled to have Kukai's chapter connect to Kairi's because *cough* I may reconsider to a few more chapters to help Kairi get out of the mess he's in. Or I may _have_ to reconsider for my idiotic mind's interest in this fanfiction (which I'm sure will lose it after being half way or less through). I also struggled to actually thinking reasons why a doctor may think a boy Kairi's age would think is mental and not.. drowned in sorrow.

Events such as Kairi actually being submitted into the hospital did not happen, because it didn't happen to Mizuki (...yet?).

* * *

Kukai was definitely thankful towards everyone in his family, mostly to the brother that had risked himself to save him nine years ago (and actually survived), Kaido (who was by now a year away from being an athletic trainer.

"Thanks for dinner, mom, and dad," Kukai said, finishing his meal.

"You're welcome," his mother smiled as his father nodded. "See how much we love you? That's why we discipline you, to become polite and intelligent and a good person to everyone."

He put his hands into his hoodie jacket's pocket. He'd always preferred it this way. His hood and hat on, even when it was inside. It was warm that way, and the best way to keep at least some warmth in his chilly house, in his opinion of course.

_'Love me? That's what I call avoiding a jail sentence for child mistreatment.'_ Kukai pushed in his chair, "Uh huh." He walked into his room. '_For me or for your reputation?'_

He understood why they disciplined him, but he didn't understand why they would just lash out so many expectations on him. "As just like your older brother.", "Become an athlete like your other brothers, or be a professional musician like Shusui like what your mother wants." Music or sports. It may not be as much as it sounds, but his own type of sensitivity told him it was.

Pride always took over him, making him lash his anger at them, whenever his mind thought it was their fault. They always said things to contradict each other's dialogue. "Practice your shoots," says his dad. So he does, at 3PM.

"Kukai! It's late!" his mother calls in. It was only 3PM. He wasn't the seven year old, from when he was a pathetic person who needed attention and safety, the one that was kidnapped and thrown in a fire with another group of kids. He was _sixteen_ for god sakes."Go practice the guitar!" He _told_ you they contradicted each other right?

* * *

"Kairi-tan's been requested towards the mental hospital!" Yaya pounded on Kukai's front door.

Kukai found himself annoyed by his parents, and then Yaya yelling something he couldn't hear through the oddly thick walls his house had? Like he wasn't annoyed enough, Yaya wa yelling.

He sighed. "Coming!"

"I'll get it Kukai! Go ahead and shower!" his mother said.

"Nah, bet she's callin' for me," Kukai said rudely to his mother. He sighed again, and scratched his head as his other hand reached and opened the door. "Yeah?"

"Like I said, Kairi-tan's been requested towards the mental hospital! They think he's crazy because he's been crying randomly," Yaya said at hyper speed.

Randomly my ass, it's about that Musashi guy I've heard about isn't it?" Kukai said. "Mom, I'm going to shower later! Urgent club busineses to attend to!"

"Hold on!" his mother said. "Did you study for tomorrow's test yet? Did you bring your jacket?"

"Mom, I'm not five!"

"You are if you don't know how to take care of yourself!"

"Bye!" Kukai slammed the door, enraged, in his mother's face.

* * *

Kukai ran with Yaya, to their clubhouse. Clubhouses were old, they admitted it, but who cares? The small club, the Lost Club, had six people, Amu, Tadase, Nagi, him, Kairi, and Yaya. This club was only mainly about losing someone you loved and helped others join or help them go through the depression. They had a choice of course. Truthfully, their club, although was consisting of six people, there were many people who wanted to join, but lacked the experience of losing a loved one. After all, one thing _everyone_ in that club had in common was losing someone. Their invitation for the other four, Rima, Ikuto, and Utau had not been answered (or maybe even opened).

Off topic, off topic.

They ran past the street lights, which made them seem like flashing in the dark. Their minds only focused on finding out what the hell would make Kairi seem frickin' mental. The only thing crazy about his mind was that even for a Freshman, he had a mind of a Junior, in short, he was too smart for his own good!

His mother must've been out of his mind to think he was mental. The doctor must not have studied hard enough for crams and just barely _passed_ the test, because this doctor was _stupid!_ How the hell could Kairi be mental?

They passed about two streets by now, nearing their clubhouse which was designated in a spacious tree that was dug underground to the treetop (all personally done by the six themselves). They climbed up, to the top where the light had been turned to a bright light with wood blocking most of the light. Nagi, Tadase, and Amu were already there, their eyes were stern with long hints of "What the hell" hints. Kairi was suspended from going out on out, he _couldn't_ go out.

"What's with this? Mental hospital?" Kukai said.

"Apparently, Kairi told us that he was taken to the doctor that hated him because he corrected his, let's say, mistakes," Nagi said. "This isn't right. He's the mind of this club."

Everyone sat there. "That doctor's got problems. He doesn't know how to let go," Kukai said. "Think this doctor needs help from the Lost Club?"

* * *

"Home!" Kukai shortened his sentence as he entered the wooden two-story house.

"Souma Romui Kukai Jr.!" his mother boomed. '_Ugh.'_ What adult made full names mean trouble? Just listening to his full name made him... _pissed_.

"What? I'm going to shower now," Kukai said, standing at the door.

"What was that earlier? What that attitude?" his mother said. '_Well obviously_.' Kukai looked at her with his hands in his pockets, saying nothing. Sure he _did_ say something, but he didn't _dare_ say so. "Take out your hands." his mother ordered and Kukai did so. His mother slapped the top side.

He flinched and took his hand back. "What the hell!"

"Do as an elder says! Stop making a fool of us by being disobidient!" his mother said.

"What'd I do wrong?" he glared.

"You didn't listen to me earlier. Do you know what time it is? Eleven-fourty! It's almost Twelve!" '_Yeah in twenty minutes_.' He rolled his eyes. "Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

Kukai looked away. "Look, I still came home. I'm going to shower now so **bye**," Kukai walked up the stairs fairly quick.

"Never go out after ten again!"

"I'm seventeen mom!" Kukai argued.

"It's dangerous at night! Don't you remember what happened nine years ago?"

"So you're saying I can't go out to help a friend?" Kukai accused as he walked down the stairs. "A friend that's been suggested to be in a mental hospital when he's perfectly fine?"

"I'm saying that you shouldn't go out at night!"

"I'm not a girl either mom! I'm a guy with martial arts knowledge!" Kukai said.

"No sports, outside privileges, and television for a month!"

"Oh my god mom! No! Are you trying to ruin my future career? No television, that's fine. But no sports and outside privileges? Just because I don't want to become a musician, you find a way to ban me from it? That's a little immature don't you think?"

"I don't want you hurt!"

"Well that's too bad huh? In that fire nine years have already scarred me! Hurt me then, and it still hurts me now!" Kukai said.

"This is for your future! Do you care for your future?" his mother asked.

"Of course I do! But you all you and dad do is push me to being better or like my brothers! You guys don't do anthing but that and support me with food and a home! "Be a doctor!" "Be a musician!" "Be an athlete!" What the hell do you want me to be? I can't be three people at once, you know!"

"You can be any job you want! But think about your reputation! People will think you're a bad boy!"

"Any job? Last time I wanted to be an agent for the FBI, you downright said 'No!'" Kukai yelled. "What _reputation?_ Isn't it all for you? If all your sons were famous, then along with us, would be you to be famous! Right? If I was a good boy, then what? Other parents will say "Your son is so polite!" "Your son is well-taught." "Your son is a good person!" That's what you want am I right? I hate people like you! You don't know how to accept your children as they are!"

"Kukai!"

"Nine years ago, Daichi! Do you remember him? He was my best friend that was the closest thing to me when everyone was busy!"

"Of course I do!"

"Then you'd have to understand how Kairi felt when he lost his brother! He's going to be hospitalized because of that! All he needs is therapy! But no, his mother is going to send him off to a mental hospital!"

"What kind of parent are you?" Kukai asked. "When I was seven, you weren't even there when I was in that fire! You didn't even know! Not until the next few days! Not until I was out of the hospital!"

"Kukai-!"

"Bye!" He ran up th stairs and slammed the door. He slumped down and his head rested on his arm with his knees holding them up right. His hands were grabbing on to his hair lightly, his wrists on his forehead. You couldn't see his eyes, but his mouth was in a long frown.

He was reminiscencing about his young best friend, a boy with neon green hair and honey brown eyes. He always seemed as happy as the sun, and always wore a golden star on his bandana. Midorini Daichi, was his name. He was the friend the parametics couldn't save. It wasn't like Daichi sacrificed himself to Kukai, but it wasn't like he didn't try to help him and himself out of that burning building.

They had run through the house randomly finding a way to get out of that burning building. _"Come on!"_

* * *

Young Kukai and Daichi were running through the house, their eyes blocked by the darkening smoke. Daichi had grabbed Kukai's wrist, running through the house quickly, and losing his breath easily with each step. "Come on Kukai! Stop falling asleep!" Daichi yelled at him angrily. "Do you want to burn?"

"Kukai!"

Kukai was slowing down with his pace. The smoke shrouded his eyes, the smoke made him dizzy and nauseous, he couldn't stay awake right. This caused Daichi to practically drag Kukai the whole way. Of course, Kukai did want to stay awake. He was immune to everything but black smoke of burning wood and fires.

"Please Kukai, wake up!" Daichi yelled, coughed immensely and nearly falling into his knees but continued to walk.

"Kukai! Daichi!" a voice from the other side of the wall they were beside, no windows in the hall they were in, they couldn't figure out whether that was the outside or just another dead end into another maze-like room. "I'm coming through the walls!"

Seconds later, Kaido fearlessly broke the wall a yard away from them, lightly scraping their skin with the flying wood. Daichi's eyes were watery (because of the smoke) and cried. A long chain of coughs accompanied these tears and he and Kukai ran to Kaido. Kaido quickly ran out with Daichi who was coughing and crying and Kukai, who was struggling to stay awake. Seconds later, the ambulance and fire department came to the building with many other families assisting them to put out the fire.

Firefighters rushed inside for any possible survivors or those who were in here and many others stayed to put out the fire. The parametics came to Kukai's and Daichi's aid, they couldn't go to the hospital just yet, they needed to wait just for little bit for any other person who came out of the burning building. Childred, half burnt, came out of the building with the help of the firefighters. Half of those children looked afraid, another half looked used to it and kept a straight face or an angry one.

"Hurry to the hospital!"

* * *

Positive results for the children came out, but that assumption came out too early. Kukai layed on the bed, half-sleep. Young Kukai was determined to know what happened to his best friend. The Midorini and Kukai's older brothers had circled around Kukai's room. Hell, every parent (only except Kukai's) in the country/town had been in the hospital to stay close to their child. It didn't feel right to the parents, who the heck would have thrown these children in a fire?

"Excuse me?" a knock on the door sounded. A doctor came in silently, understanding that the Midorini family prefered to be near Kukai and his family. "Daichi-kun.. he's.."

"What is it?" Daichi's mother said, panicking.

The doctor sighed and calmed his nerves. He wasn't fond of telling the parents of dying kids that they were dying. "He's breathed in too much smoke. His crying and choking stopped. He stopped. I'm sorry."

* * *

You could just barely see it, his glittering tears that fell from his eyes. Damn those fires! (Notice 'those.') He didn't lose one, but _two_ important people. Two years ago, was his (secret) girlfriend. He didn't even know his girlfriend was kidnapped. Out of all years for a fire, that year he hadn't been taken. For about six years he was taken and thrown into a fire, with many who had survived, but not that year.

He stood up, hands now in his jacket pockets he turned his head to his desk. There, was a picture of hi ex-girlfriend. Brown curls, and beautiful pale blue eyes. He ran to the picture, and threw it down. He still loved her, he knew that, but to hold all that hatred towards whoever burned the houses with children in it, and the sadness of losing another loved one.

Anger outruled sorrow. Had those sadistic persons realized how many they've killed? How many loved ones they killed? Had they realized all the children that burned for no reason? He and the club knew there was a connection, but they weren't detectives (the main reason _why_ he wanted to be an FBI agent). They didn't know _what_ connected connected them together.

Glass crashed on the ground, his eyes watery and blurry with tears. Damn it all! He was so helpless when his loved ones were in danger! He flopped on the bed. Boys aren't fond to crying, _he_ wasn't fond to crying. His forearm covered his eyes. He layed there to calm down.

Soon, almost recovering, he stood up again, taking his towel and new sleepingwear in hand. He headed out to the shower room. At least he could calm down a little.

* * *

Atsuko: WHOA THERE!

Mizuki: What is it.

Atsuko: I FORGOT ABOUT TADASE'S CHAPTER! HOW COULD I? HOW COULD I, GODS?

Mizuki: I dunno. You don't believe in gods.

Atsuko: *turns towards you* AGHRG:KSJF!

Mizuki: What? O_O

Atsuko: KHHHHHHHHHH.

Mizuki: O_O...

Atsuko: My parents say I can't do Kh right in vietnamese (WHATEVERRR!)

Well whatevs, I'll make Tadase's about loss.. and stuff. So, (unexpectedly) Tadase's chapter will be next, but, it won't have any connection to us, but possibly another's.

Kukai's chapter made a rapid turn than past chapters hasn't it? (Hell yeah, I made Kukai a JUNIOR!) This fire was a few fires after the other's. Okay, well, I dunno, but I think if you breathe in too much smoke at one time, it's oxygen poisoning (or something) right? I can't be too sure with only my knowledge... Wow, so much dialogue at Kukai's and his mother's fight.

So how many of you thought Kukai died? (With an assumption from the summary)

Atsuko and Mizuki: Merry Christmas! (Two more days. (: )

Atsuko: Those who read my Gakuen Alice stories, I'm sending in a Natsumikan story at 11:30PM (tomorrow) Which is whatever time if is for you, I don't know.

A quiet battle between yes and no for a complete story was being made while I wrote this, but with the help of Mizuki's mind, it settled for a yes! That means, I'm going to make ths a complete series, you know will a permenant summary and all that.


End file.
